estoy aqui, estoy contigo

Psalm 59:16 And me? I'm singing your prowess, For you've been a safe place for me, a good place to hide. Strong God, I'm watching you do it, I can always count on you— God, my dependable love. [ A David Psalm, When He Fought Against ]


God. My Dependable Love.

One of my favorite things about Ecuador is the family I live with. Susy always says, ¨ I don´t have a large house, but I have a large heart¨ ( In spanish of course). It´s so true. She radiates love and joy from the God who has transformed her life, given her hope and strengthened her to survive proudly within the midst of many trials. Life isnt easy at the Maya house, but it is always joyful! There is always respect and care for one another. Voices are only raised in the midst of excitement and hands only raised to help.

My favorite part of life here is my drives to and from the University with Mami Susy. We usually talk about God and how we see Him and the challenges he has presented us with recently. She loves her christian music and I´ve begun to learn some of the words so I can sing along ( see post title...I have a ways to go. lol). They are times that bring me great peace here in Ecuador and much understanding.

I love this verse Psalm 59:16- God. My dependable love. Dios. mi amor fiable.

I´ve had a lot of pain in my heart this last week. Not because of school or language or because I´m homesick or any of those things. But, because I´ve been lost in translation with God.
How can I tell what is TRUTH and what is LIE. I´ve always struggled in determining that. I´m so easily swayed by the opinions of those I love. But, what do I do when those opinions contradict the ONE VOICE OF TRUTH I live for? I go in circles whether it´s God´s voice that is leading me, my voice or the voice of those I love. But Psalm 59 answers that all so clearly. GOD IS DEPENDABLE. He is TRUTH! He will not leave us nor forsake us. All we have to do is draw near to Him, desire Him and strive to follow Him and He will NOT lead us astray.

Have Faith I say. He IS the GOD He says He is! He can do the things He says He can! We are who He says we are!

It still hurts to feel betrayed, to feel like your dreams aren´t good enough for the world that criticizes them. But in all that pain and loneliness I DEPEND ON GOD.

He´s the only one here in Ecuador that knows my soul. He knew all the days of my life before I was one day old! That I can trust. He is the ONLY ONE in all the world who holds and teaches the TRUTH of success for ME. To that I hold onto.

I am comforted - The road I take through life may be criticized, unsupported, hard and lonely at times. But wasn´t that the very road Jesus took? I stand alone in the eyes of the world and many whom I love, but I stand on my Dependence on God.

Sometimes I thank God for all my answered prayers

So, my life is changing faster than I can think.

Chris just bought a ticket to Ecuador 10 min ago!
We´ve been talking about him coming to travel with me my last week here for some time, but I never thought it would actually happen. But with months of praying and lots of wise counsel- He´s coming July 9.
I feel sick to my stomach I´m so overwhelmed. He will be here to join the group for our field trip through the Sierra the 10-12th. Then after my 2 finals we will head over to Isla de la Plata which is the ¨ Poor Man´s Galapagos¨. They have all the same stuff except the large turtles and Darwin plaques. lol.

Also, on the same crazy note about my life- I´m entering the application stage for a position with YL Church partnership in Grand Rapids. It´s crazy how God throws things in your lap and says HERE! I´M PROVIDING AND PAVING A WAY JUST FOR YOU!

WOW. I feel like I´m floating! hahah.

I have a ton more to say about my fun weekend at the Indigenous Market and the other crazy things I´m learning but I have to hitch a ride home with Susi!

Pray for my exam and quiz on wednesday!!!! I´m so nervous!

So far I have gotten C´s on my spn quizzes and this will be my first econ test!!!
I have to pass. There is too much in front of me to not make it through!

SI SE PUEDE!

GOOOOAAALLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Vamos Ecuatorianos
Esta Tarde
Tenemos que ganar!

Ecuador v Columbia was yesterday! They tied 0-0. We got to the game early- like 2:30 because the seats were all general admission and there were super long lines. The main streets aroun the stadium closed down and people were everywhere in Yellow, Red and Blue drinking Pilsener which is their local beer they are very in love with! lol. It was kinda like tailgating before an Msu game only everyone was a lot closer together and Latina!

I went to the game with a group of other international students and our Director, Pancho, who works at the university. He said that they love to interview foreigners and show that they are rooting for Ecuador and sure enough they ran right up to us ( mainly to me!). I was a little overwhelmed to talk spanish so i just repeated what they said- which was obviously not correct! lol. But it was fun and exciting none the less. I was also distracted by a little boy who kept calling me amiga and asking if he could shine my shoes. I was wearing brand new yellow flats ( in the spirit of Ecuador) that obviously didn´t need to be shined. lol ( remember the shoes- they will come in later)

We ended up having really great seats in the first 10 rows behind the goal. We got our faces painted for a quarter, had some snacks and enjoyed the sunshine. Then about 45 minutes into our extravaganza it started to rain. Nobody had any rain gear cause it was a really hot and sunny day up until then. The panchos went fast and it cost me $1.50 just to get a trashbag!! Some of my friends were left with nothing and are now at home sick. It rained ( cold rain) from 3:30- the second half which was about 6:30! The best part was that they had handed out huge bags of blue confetti that everyone was throwing around. Of course the blue dye from the confetti ran in the rain and stained everything from my hair to my nailpolish- INCLUDING MY BRAND NEW SHOES! Shannon is NOT a happy camper.

So despite the horrible weather, we all stuck it out and enjoyed the game. There was a lot of people faking hurt which got old after a while. It was an ok game. Ecuador did well on offense in the second half but kept heading it over the goal. It was fairly action-less. However, I did learn all the Ecuador cheers and it was a super good time to just be in the crazy atmosphere.

After the game, we decided to skip the food and just head for home- we were soaked. It took forever to flag a taxi cause the entire City was outside looking for one! However, Pancho was with us and did most of the dirty work. After a good 20 min or so he flagged me a taxi and told him abouts where to go. This was really helpful cause then we got the regular price, had we been alone we would have been charged nearly double for being gringo and it being a busy night. So, I´m riding a long in the taxi about to my house and he stops in front of the airport. I tell him its up farther and apologize cause Pancho must have said the airport without me knowing. Apparently, you are not allowed to stop where it´s yellow in front of the airport because the Policia came running and started pounding on his car. He Sped away quickly, keeping his eyes in the rearview mirror and saying ¨La Policia!¨ over and over again! I started to get nervous but wasn´t sure what to do. Then he started swerving through traffic demanding me to pay quickly ¨ Pagáme Rápido!¨ So I throw him my five dollar bill and politely ask for change. He looks at it disgustingly and scrounges for some dollar coins as he is swerving! He chucks them at me ( ok hands them quickly- but chucks sounds better) and then is yelling for directions. I tell him where to go and he swerves into the BUS LANE and turns left through un-coming traffic!!! He is now speeding at like 50mph down my tiny little street as I yell AQUI AQUI to get him to turn on my street. He doesnt use the break and quickly turns right dodging two pedestrians, a parked car and a speed bump! I then yell ¨Aqui es bien!¨ to let him know he can let me out- when he turns another corner to hide from the cops that are apparently chasing us, and he yells for me to get out as fast as possible! ¨ Sale rapído, sale rapído!!!!¨ I get out and he speeds away down the street. I laugh. My taxi driver just broke the law. hahaha. I then enter my house still wearing a trash bag and my ruined shoes only to try to explain the story to my host family! lol. They laughed so hard and said I have lots of stories to tell when I get home!!

Things just happen to me- I don´t know why- but they do! lol

This weekend I am going on a hike to 4 different lakes and then going to the Indigenous Market on Saturday. tonight the girls are going to see Sex and The City and out to dinner. I just got assigned a 250 page book to read with a 18 page paper by the 4th- so Sunday will be alll homework! oh joy!

Love you guys lots!

Me gustarlo

hola chicos! Today is the day of the Ecuador v Columbia game and I am goinG!!! It´s a huge deal- it´s a qualifying game for the 2010 WorldCup in South Africa and Ecuador and Columbia don´t like eachother much..the stadium is already filling up and the game isn´t until 430!! I´m wearing yellow shoes and I´m going to get a jersey outside the stadium- the streets fill with ppl selling jerseys on these days.

Yesterday we went to scalp tickets cause the line was rediculously long and not moving and then we went tothe mall and ate at Crepes y Waffles- my new favorite place. However, there is a curse on me here and whenever we go out to eat everyone gets their food but me. This has happened like 4 times now. It´s a running joke now that Murphy´s Law is just true.

Mami Susy paints her nails- French Manicure- every sunday and last night she painted mine! She is really good at it and even paints designs!! I love it. She was like, next week we do again and paint more designs!! ( she didnt really say it like that but it´s how I hear spanish in my head!lol). Having the older sister home has been good- she works in the day and has class at night. But she is very friendly and gave me all kinds of tips today on how not to get pick pocketed at the futbol game!

School is getting better- I´m feeling on top of things and understanding a little better. God definitely has given me peace about my classes and freedom from the heavy burden I was feeling.

I´m starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel and it´s helping me to enjoy the time I have here, cause I know it´s going quickly. I think before I was really overwhelmed with the culture shock and the language barrier. I felt like I was going to be here forever!! But, with prayer I´m really starting to be comfortable and joyful and appreciative of all I have here. My family is such a blessing and the friends I´m making are awesome! I think I´m finally healthy and prepared to do this. To enjoy it and learn from it. I wish you guys could be here- it´s really something.

I´ve attached a nice photo of what I look like today- Just in case you have forgotten. :)

No it´s not mosquito bites, I just have Acne- thank you!

Hola chicos! So here I am at school again after a wonderful weekend at the Coast. It was beautiful! We stayed in a nice private resort, had three course meals for lunch and dinner everyday and took a boat to a private beach, La Playa Escondida. We saw blue footed boobies from the boat alll over one of the cliffs in the water!! I tried to get a picture - It reminded me of when Kyle did a report on them in fourth grade and I was embarrased cause I thought he was perverted! lol. But they are real, and they live all over the cliff in the middle of the Pacific! We were supposed to see whales too but it was too rough and we would have had to go out too far. So we explored at the beach and discovered small caves all along the water. We collected shells and stones and swam in the waves. The lunch was wonderful!! My favorite food is called platanos- which is a fried banana ( a green one that´s a little different than what you´re used to)that tastes like a big potato chip! mmm.

We got to go banana boating also!! That was my favorite we had soo much fun and the driver even took our foto with his camera phone cause we were such a sight to see!!! We got free surf lessons but I passed them up to play beach Futbol. The word on the street was the water was too rough and the boards too small for beginners anyways.

One of the funniest parts of the trip was that one of the chaperones who only spoke spanish ( he was like early 40´s..married..ya know..) Insisted that I had gotten bit my mosquitos overnight. I said no, I thought I was pretty clear of bug bites- and then he insisted on pointing them all out on my face!!!! When in actuality, it was just my acne breakout- because I didn´t bring enough of my acne medicine!! ( I have been very upset about this all week!). So, due to the language barrier I was unable to explain and he wouldnt take my NO for an answer and insisted that he had anti'itch cream I could use to clear up all my bites!!! hahaha. Oh boy.

The first night, Emily found a lizard in her bed!! When they tried to kill it the tail fell off but kept moving!! hahahh! Sickk.

I got back to Quito around 630 last night to find out that the older daughter Susana has moved back home. She doesnt really have a room so she just sleeps in the Queen size bed with her mom. We all laughed a lot at my stories from the weekend so I think it will be ok having her there, but we will see how it goes. - Random thing: this morning for breakfast we had instant hot chocolate and Mami Susy put her mozzarella cheese in it!!! She laughed and said Paula, the previous exchange student wouldnt do it and said it was gross- But I tried it and really it wasnt that bad!!!! Then I had a cheeseburger and fries for lunch and it was just like being in America!! I loved every bite!!

God totally blessed this weekend. I was able to dive into a lot of relationships and see God not only use me in the lives and hearts of others but I saw him set my heart on fire in the process. I love being a Young Life leader. I love living life in a way that always seeks to know others, to love them and to share with them the love and joy of Christ! I´ve been so blessed to see my prayers be answered and know that it´s because God is faithful and He is listening. I am more excited than ever to get home and move forward with life. God is putting visions of marriage and ministry and work and a future in my heart and in my mind. My passions are becoming real to me and they move me and they push me, and as I respond God continues to teach and guide. He conntinues day in and day out to remind me He is there and He is the reason I am here. He continues to blow my mind and move me forward. It´s incredible.

That´s me trying to pick a coconut! lol. It was like being on Survivor!! I seriously think they should have a season there. If I was on it- I would not win due to being vertically challenged and unable to eat coconuts! lol.

The other weird thing I found out this weekend, which apparently I was supposed to know but nobody told me, you can´t throw your TP in the toilet. You have to throw it all in the trash!!! sick!!

I´m not sure I can do that. AND awkward turtle! I don´t know if I amsupposed to do that at my house cause I havent been...and It´s a really weird thing to have to ask. Well, I donno, we will see...I haven´t clogged anything yet! lol

la economia

Hey there everybody!

This week has been so hard. Many of you know from my countless emails about how much I do not want to be in classes here. I'm extremely overwhelmed and giving my all just to pass, which usually is not the case for me. I'm fighting to find joy in all of these hard parts and to cling to the moments of peace that usually come and go quite quickly. I'm looking forward to the trip to the coast tomorrow, but I first have to get excused from an exam my teacher scheduled for a day we don't have classes!! ughhh. aye aye aye ( they say here).

Yesterday we saw the President's motorcade heading to the airport as we were on our way to school. Definitely different than if that were to happen in the U.S. The President is kinda more of a common man over here I think. A lot less security.

Today Poonkie the dog ( in the pic) ran away and we had to chase him down and bring him home before we left. He had puppies last semester and they all died but one little brown and white one that kinda looks like annie. But, last week the perrito got out and hasn't been back since :( I think the " All dogs go to heaven" truck got him. There are stray dogs EVERYWHERE....
Poonkie got a hair cut and a new sweater this weekend!

Here are some pics of my room- it's just little. But I am here a lot watching my english movies with spanish subtitles and doing hwk. It's been a hard week with school. I really just want to complain all the time because I really wasnt expecting so much of this trip to revolve around school. I thought I'd go to class and then explore the country. But It's not really like that. The exploring part has to be fought for and earned.
In my book on the 23rd Psalm it says: " there are men and women who, because they may have done well in business or in their careers or their homes, feel that they are flourished and have 'arrived'. They may have a sense of well-being and self-affluence, which in itself is dangerous. Often when we are the most sure of ourselves we are the most prone to fall flat.Material success is no measure of spiritual health...... God may well impose on us some 'discipline' which we may find a bit rough and unpalatable at first. But again, we need to reassure ourselves that it is for our own good, because He is fond of us, and for His own reputation as the Good Shepherd."

With that I have hope. I understand there is much to be learned and even though it may not all be sparkly and fun, it will be done.

Good Luck to the Williamston Soccer girls tonight! I wish more than anything that I could be there cheering you all on!!! I love you! GO GREEN!

Un viaje en el bosque

GRACIAS DIOS! With lots of water and lots of sleep I was able to overcome my altitude sickness for the weekend! I´m still feeling a little of the headache today, now that I´m back in Quito- but I am much better than I was!

I took a trip this weekend to Mindo with 6 other girls from MSU. It was a 2.5 hour bus ride further north ( and down the mountain!)which cost $2.50. We arrived in this tiny little town with dirt roads and a handful of stores. Like Williamston, in the Rain forest! lol. We were greeted right away by an english speaking woman, Claudia, who took us to her Hostel in the middle of the forest. She gave us the entire top floor of the bungalow and charged us each $7 per night with breakfast. She hooked us up with all the tickets for the activities and free rides and such.

We went right to the ZIP LINE through the canopy.It was a series of 13 different lines which took an hour and a half or so to do. We did a few tricks the superman ( where you fly on your stomach- head first) and the mariposa ( butterfly- where you go upside down- feet in the air!). It was crazy but the coolest experience ever! I´ve never seen the Rain Forest from the sky like that!I have some better pictures of myself I will get tomorrow from my friends.This is Karin-->

We had dinner on a little porch restaurant run by an older American woman who had moved there with her family. She made the best brownies!!! They even called in their local friends to give us salsa dancing lessons that evening!! We were all horrible- except my Puerta Rican friend Aubrey who started teaching too!

The next morning we got up and hitched a ride in the back of a pick up with the workers and went to the top of the mountain to las cascadas (waterfalls).We crammed in a little box type crate and rode across a cable to the other side of the valley!! yikes I know!We all about had a heart attack.

We hiked to 5 different waterfalls and got to swim in the last one!

It was so awesome! The air was fresh and clean and I was able to use my body and not feel faint and tired like in Quito. I love hiking. It was just us and the nature. No cars, no people. It was safe to walk through town at night. It was such a different adventure than we have had in the city. We took a long nap Saturday afternoon on our deck,in the hammocks during a rain storm. It was peaceful; tranquil. I think it was exactally what we all expected South America to be like, what we all had been longing to see and be a part of.

At night we had to walk down this dirt road to our hostel in the pitch black. We all kinda crammed together and held our breath with no flashlight! We had been told it was safe but coming from Quito where nothing is safe, we pictured the worst. I sang hymns and other people told stories and some just rambled about how scared they were. We made it safe.

Saturday, I read this passage from a book I have on Psalm 23 by W. Phillip Keller:
" We live a most uncertain life. Any hour can bring disaster, danger, and distress from unknown quarters. Life is full of hazards. No one can tell what a day will produce in new trouble. We live either in a sense of anxiety, fear, and foreboding, or in a sense of quiet rest. Which is it? Generally it is the "unknown", the "unexpected", that produces the greatest panic. It is in the grip`of fear that most of us are unable to cope with the cruel circumstances and harsh complexities of life.Often our first impulse is simply to get up and run from them. Then in the midst of our misfortunes there suddenly comes the awareness that He, the Christ, the Good Shepherd, is there. It makes all the difference. His presence in the picture throws a different light on the whole scene. Suddenly things are not half so black nor nearly so terrifying. The outlook changes and there is hope. I find myself delivered from fear.Rest returns and I can relax."

Sorry, that was long. But, it´s so true for me. I was afraid to go to Mindo because I had to go somewhere unknown, again! But once I went, I received all the blessings of South America I had been desiring to have.God was there, he protected me. And just like that small trip down that dark road, the scene looked totally different once I saw that Christ was there, walking with me in Mindo,Ecuador.

I slept all day yesterday and attempted to get in some solid reading of the spanish economics book. Today has been wonderful.I feel healthy and encouraged and loved. It´s my mom´s birthday and I get to talk to her for the first time tonight!!
I see God showing me so many things and growing me in so many ways. I have no idea what I am gonna do what I get back or for the rest of my life, but in so many ways I see God confirming in my heart who I am supposed to do all of it with.

It continues to be hard and I still suffer from confusion every day, but the one thing I have not to be confused about is that God has a lot to teach me and I am open to learning it! Thank you for reminding me everyday how loved I am.

viviendo en las montanas

There are a number of times in the Bible where Jesus just goes off by himself into the wilderness to pray and listen for God´s voice. I thought of this yesterday. I took a little trolly thing up the mountain and looked down over this town that sits in the valley of the Andes. I think I pictured a Down town East Lansing with dirt roads and wooden shacks, but instead I got a Washington D.C in the mountains!Literally, it is a town surrounded my massive mountians. Like, right there in the middle of the wilderness, live people.
Even though I´m living in this ¨city in the wilderness¨, I am still alone, unknown, ununderstood and striving to hear the voice the one who knows me the best, my creator. I think God´s purpose for me here is all the same as it was for Jesus those many times in the Bible. He´s saying, ¨ Come away with me, away from all you know and let me show you who you are. I created you to be an individual and away from all your world makes you, I will show you the beauty of My creation! So, do not fear, do not hold back ; come. ¨

El mitad del Mundo y mi corazon

This is the view of the mountains right outside my house. As you can tell the streets are small and the houses are like all smooshed together. I arrived here at night but when I stepped outside the next day I think I litterally lost my breath at the mountains. I´m amazed by them every day. I like LIVE IN THE MOUNTAINS! haha. I´m going to try to get a picture of them at night because the buildings in the city go for years.... so you just see lights all up and down the mountains - it´s my favorite part of Quito I think! We went to a Crepe and Waffle place in the mall last night ( mmm!) And it was higher up with all glass windows so you could see all the lights at night. It reminded me of L.A. and this restaurant in the Mountains ( the Mining company or something) that we used to go to when I was little. I tried to tell my family ..I dont think they got it! lol. " My abuelos vivieron in california cuando estuve una nina......."  I had a fever on Friday so I ended up not going out dancing thursday or to Banos for the weekend. Instead I slept for 12 straight hours ( except when the baby was screaming) and toughed it out to do a little sight seeing in Quito. 

This is a view of the mountains at the Middle of the World= the equator. Ecuador is actually the spanish word for equator. They call it the Mitad del Mundo ( the middle of the world). It was a fun place to go and say you had been to- But it´s kinda like all there is there! lol. And of course we missed out bus stop on the way home. We ended up just outside the south of Quito. ( The mitad del mundo is very north). The south of Quito is the one place they said you jsut never need to be there, for anything, ever. It´s like the ghetto of Quito. Needless to say, the movie continues and American girl and her American friends stand on a street corner having heart attacks as they scramble to find a bus out of there in the dark.

This is a picture in Old Quito. Out of the top of the Basilica. It pretty much just looks like that for miles and miles... houses and houses and more houses on top of each other.

It´s been a hard weekend. Yesterday I think I understood probably .2% of what my family said. My head just kinda quit working. It´s so hard for me cause I can sit and read my econ text book in spanish and get a good 80% of what´s happening. But when the people around me share their lives.... all I get is a word here or there. I hate that. I hate that the most of anything here. I am so passionate about the hearts of people, and I can get everything but that! I can read their eyes, their actions, I see their tears, I even ask them to explain further and still I´m left with so much less than I ask for. It´s weird that listening to spanish is a totally different ability and task than reading it, speaking it and writing it. I would much rather listen than read.

My heart broke a lot this weekend. The mother daughter relationships in my family are so wonderful. They laugh and love and hug and share life everyday together. I found myself so jealous of that. I really miss my mom. Mom´s give life. It´s what they do. There are things they give that no one else can. They are things I need the most right now.

My second heart break has a been as a young life leader watching the unloved, unreached youth of this country walk the streets begging. At 2 in the morning after the discoteca, 6-7 year old kids, in the pouring rain were approaching us to buy chiclets!!!! gum!!! Nobody talks to them. I dont know why but I think you´re not supposed to. I don´t understand. I don´t like it. Why can´t they just be kids and go to sleep.

Anyways, I have class- more on all this later. LOVE AND MISS YOU!!!